The eternal debate among toilet paper aficionados is the give and take between thickness and softness. So, with some trepidation, I opened the self-touted “Thickest Toilet Paper”, Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care. While many toilet papers try to play both sides in an attempt to please everyone, this selection has a very strong sense of identity, and knows exactly what it is. This is a feces removal tool best used for the toughest, industrial strength jobs. When you absolutely must maintain the integrity of your toilet paper, keeping your fingers safe and your rear clean, Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care is a solid, if understated choice.
When I first placed this roll upon the toilet paper holder, the fit was spectacular, allowing only a centimeter on each side of the holder. This ensured a tight fit and allowed very precise control of the amount of toilet paper needed in every situation (spoiler: only the most behemoth jobs will need more than one or two squares).
The design of this toilet paper is minimal, with a vaguely floral pattern adorning the roll. While adding a small amount of visual flair, this acts more so as a functional failsafe, in order to grab any stubborn stray matter along the way. As a result of its utilitarian focus, a pack of 12 double rolls is reasonably affordable, and can be found as low as $6.99 on sale, or up to $9.49 regular price.
If you are in need of a no-frills toilet paper that won’t require you to empty your piggy bank, I’d recommend taking a long, hard look at Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care. It may not be the prettiest to look at, or pillow soft like premium Charmin, but it’s a reliable soldier that gets the job done. With the ability to clean your bottom with little fanfare, Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care isn’t in it for the glory.